No Model Updates

I'm not going to be uploading a model update today, purely because I'm on vacation, and I don't really have any desire to do anything with work in it. Right now I'm not even breathing...akdjdf    dfiowend gnb  

Sorry, I blacked out for a bit. Regardless, I am going to write a little update about my feelings, disgusts, and overall opinion of what I'm doing.
I have no idea what I'm doing.

Despite all that I have uploaded, all of this was very poorly made, for my standards, Revisions would totally needed to be made, if I knew what it was I needed to revise. I see other people's models and renders all the time on DA and Tumblr, and they all look flawless, and when I see tutorials online, they always tweak certain parts like they know exactly what they want. I have no true exact idea of what I want for this animation, which probably why everything that I've uploaded either looks like garbage, or makes me feel like trashing them everytime I look at them.

I have no mentor, which I think would really help me. However, finding one is very difficult. No one in my general area knows anything about 3D modelling and animation, and people on the internet and forums just say to look up a tutorial on youtube. None of this helps, but despite this, I continue on. Making half-crap efforts to put out stuff that only semi-looks good to me now.

I do still want to do this, but I need help knowing what I want to do, and more importantly HOW TO FRIGGIN' DO IT!!!

(insert smiley face emoji, insert smiley face emoji, insert wink emoji)

:l